How I feel about my sister’s success.

Parenting & Musings, Relationships

I’ve got an amazing younger sister. She is kind, generous, funny, clever as hell, beautiful and all you could ask for in a sister. She also has a very successful business.

sister

You said you wanted to fly and now I’m making it happen. source

What I’ve noticed in the the past few years is that people assume that because I’m the older one, I should be more successful than her. Or that I must begrudge her success as the work I’ve done since having Amazing M is quite measly financially in comparison. Funny that but also perverse.

It’s probably got to do with the fact that society has become more competitive and the rush to financial and social success is the only measure of true success and happiness. And somehow, because I was afforded a few extra years, I should have accumulated more coinage than my baby sister. Well, I don’t like and I don’t buy it. Everyone has their own lives and stories. One’s success is subjective. What’s an extraordinary achievement for me could be your tragedy.

Truth be told, I feel nothing but pride for my little sis. Her success and happiness is my success and happiness. Is there a trace of the green monster? Not a sliver. Envy? Nope. Sorry to disappoint you but I’m one of those annoying people who don’t feel jealousy or envy. Sometimes I yearn for certain skills that others possess, such as incredible public speaking skills, or very occasionally, psychopathic arseholeness when dealing with some people in the service industry in Germany (and annoying neighbours who tell you that they don’t like seeing your bicycle parked on the sidewalk. Seriously?!). But the latter skill isn’t really a necessity, as I would feel awful for the rest of the week and I just don’t have time that shizzle.

My own financial success right now is not at the level I am aiming for. But where I am right now works for me. Money is not the primary goal. Enjoyment in my work, balancing work with family life and having the time and energy to be there for Amazing M and Mr B is what I want.

I adore you.

Relationships

Mr B, it’s been seven long years and a day since we said, “I do”. Long doesn’t necessarily mean bad. I think I say that because we’ve been through a lot.

A cute card from Paperchase, available at Karstadt. via deliciousmother

A cute card from Paperchase, available at Karstadt. via deliciousmother

Breaking the cultural barriers of marrying a non-Korean was a toughy. Moving to the other side of the world, just as my mother and father did as newly-weds, was a mega toughy. Then came the baby, and a few years after that, Germania <toughyemoticonfaceadfinitum>*.

But let’s forget about the toughies for now (hard to when I have just repeatedly written them), and think back on the incredible experiences we’ve had and memories we’ve made.

Best friend, I am so grateful to you. You’re my teacher**, my grounder and the love of my life. I am so stoked to be able to say that I still fancy the pants off you***. Literally. I’m envisaging it now. TMI, friends.

Happy Anniversary, meine Liebe. Looking forward to three more incredible years with you. Then, I will get to wear a really nice flowy wedding dress in Thailand when we renew our vows for our 10 year anniversary. You promised. And obviously after that, I will be looking forward to many more years of togetherness.

Lova ya long time,

DM

*I’m only half serious about this. I love Germany, I really do. I’ll love it more when I’m fliessend (fluent). ** in the general/abstract/philosophical sense, not Germanic. Thank goodness I’m going back to Goethe. *** in my youth I just could not fathom how a person could be attracted to the same person for more than a few years.

Hello and goodbyes.

All things German, Cake!, Relationships

Today was a gorgeous day in terms of the weather and the company. We went to the Fressgass in town for a farewell-do for one of the expat ladies I had the good fortune of meeting. I’m not going to freak her out by extolling all her virtues ( cos I know you’ll be reading this, L). I’ve not known her long, but she is A W E S O M E. And Amazing M is seriously crushing on her husband, the man with the “pretty, pretty hair”. Let’s hope we can make it to the U.S. at some point to visit her and her family and then go mad with the retail. DM is not happy with the pricing of US beauty products here in Germany or anywhere else that isn’t the U.S. for that matter <unimpressedfaceemoticon>.

Made some of these and created a flower bouquet for the leaving-do. Unfortunately I didn’t get to take a pic of it.

When we made the decision to come Frankfurt, I was quite happy about it. I knew that we, as a little family of three would make a really great life here. Yes, there would be challenges like learning the language (the grammar;don’t even…) and adjusting to a different culture. And of course there was the issue of leaving my gorgeous friends in London and having to start from scratch on the friendship scene. But I knew deep down that I would be able to find some delicious people to have some fun with. I just didn’t anticipate how delicious the people I’ve met are. Who knows what they think of me, but I’m so happy to have found the people I’ve met and gotten to know. Much laughter has been had and I’m thinking I need to top up on some heavy duty eye cream if I don’t want my mother to tell me to stop smiling so much (lest my crows feet show). It might have been the weinschorle, great company and warm weather combined but I must say that this afternoon, I felt the beginnings of love for Frankfurt. Let’s hope this feeling doesn’t wear off quickly as the alcohol!

 

 

 

Date Night.

Relationships
Date Night
Date night outfit.

The benefits of having my mother in law staying in town for a week is the ability for Mr B and I to go out at night. I can’t remember the last time we enjoyed a nice dinner together sans kid. Probably around this time last year :(.

It was nice to walk hand in hand to our favourite Japanese haunt up the (long) road. It felt good not to speak in my baby voice (I am aware I have a slightly condescending and squeaky tone when I speak to M. Must stop that bad habit). It felt great to be able to just savour the flavours of the dishes in silence.

No “Stop”s, “No!”s, or “Eat your food”. And let’s not forget my favourite: “Use your spoon!”. What bliss!

Thank you!

Food & Travel, Miscellaneous, Relationships

To my byaaaa-da-ful friends and family:

Let me just say that I have been having the best time in Sydney. I’ve had the chance to catch up with a lot of my old but ‘new mummy’ friends, my non-mummy girl and boy friends and just chill with my family.

Amazing M has been spoiled rotten by her halmae, halbae and imo. Think chocolates, sweets and lots of bulgogi. I’m not sure my parents know the meaning of ‘no more’ when it comes to M. Ms Diva Yakult has also been spoiling her with the most gorgeous clothes from Seed. M walks, babbles and looks like a diva. In bling and tulle.

What I (wish I) was doing in Sydney…with Mr B, of course!

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It’s been bliss. We’ve been hitting discount stores for party decorations, supermarkets for Aussie treats like Tim Tams (and Twisties and Toobes and lamingtons) and the city to catch up with the fab Ms AJK for Japanisch delights.

I got to potter around the house and design things for M’s party while she took her naps. All because I had the leisure of not having to do any housework, run errands or cook.

I got to eat Tim Tams for breakfast and drink lots of Aldi organic coffee, which by the way, is amazing. I’m no coffee aficionado but that caffee ist sehr gut!

I got to share delicious churros with equally delicious girlfriends. Ms AJK was a sweetheart, as usual, and got me the most delectable chocolates for Mother’s Day. She has been spoiling us with yummy food. A big shout out to the long sushi rolls she bought us. The filling goes right through to the end, unlike most other ones that taper off half way.

I got to spend lots of time with my beautiful sister and watch pop tv shows like Glee and watch cheezy flicks like Pitch Perfect. It was so much fun I kinda feel like, like, I’m a, you know, a tweeny bopper for having, like, such an amazeballsy time!  One Direction, I love you! Well, not quite.

I got to hang out with my fabulous dad, who kindly took  a week off work to spend some quality time with us. We swam at the Aquatic Centre, played in parks, and spend a few hours in Taronga Zoo. I won’t forget how much I shrieked out when a kookaburra swooped down from nowhere to hijack our cheese from our lunch table.  M is now very afraid of big birds.

What else did I ‘got to do’ besides eat, laugh and enjoy the gorgeous weather? What else do I got to do? Nothing!

I’m really going to miss the family, friends, the sun and the buzz of familiarity mixed with comfort. Sydney is in my heart. It’s traffic congested roads are tattooed into my skin in the form of stretch marks. TMI?

I don’t care that it costs twice as much to buy my brand of toothpaste here.

I want Sydney. And I’m sure Sydney wants us, too.

Friends, glorious friends.

Parenting & Musings, Relationships

I have to say that when it comes to the friendship arena, I’m a pretty lucky gal. My close and old friends are awesome. Without them I don’t think I’d be the same person. The love they show me with their unwavering support and acceptance is amazing. Thank you a million times over for being there for me.

One of the perks of becoming a mother is the opportunity of making new friends that non mothers in big old cities like London are not privy to. Would it be cynical of me to say that making new friends in your 20s, 30s and beyond is not very easy? Having a baby gives you some common ground to start up a conversation which is pretty much rare in London unless you’re drunk or outgoing. It’s a bit weird to ask the kind looking lady sitting next to you on the tube, “Hey, do you want to be friends?”.

Miss Diva Yakult and I were chatting about making (or rather, not making) new friends the other day. Before Amazing M came along, I was kinda lazy in the ‘making the effort to make new friends’ department. Let’s face it: unless you’re not very nice, you’ll have established a circle of friends you can rely on by the time you are thirty. So why should one give up their precious time and energy to look for more friends, unless you’re one of those FB friend collectors. Some of my work colleagues naturally developed into friends, I had my own set of ex-pat friends, Mr B and Skype. So why should I bother?

Having Amazing M made me bother. My single and childless friends in London went on with their exciting lives while I was stuck at home on the couch with a human milk suckeruperer. I had to find someone to talk baby stuff to without them yawning or feigning interest. So the internet and local mothers coffee group was a Godsend. It was there that I met some great women who have given me a lot of kind words, support, advice and genuine friendship. I am one of the lucky ones that found a few gems who I could speak to about fashion, celebrities, shopping and non-baby topics. Because seriously, talking about solids, weaning and baby shit can really get boring after a while. And some of these gems, I can genuinely say, have become close friends.

friendsips 

source

 

It didn’t come easy at first. I had to get out there and meet mothers. So desperate was I for some mummy friends that I posted meet-a-mum adverts online. Well, the effort paid off because I have a diverse group of yummy mummies who crack me up and support me, and vice versa.

Obviously not all the women you meet will float your boat. Your baby is, after all, the only common denominator. But with lots of regular group meet ups, you’re bound to find a few women with common interests, values and parenting styles. So if you’re a new or not so new mummy, or a non-mummy looking to make some friends, you’ve got to just get out there and join or start a group. Meetup.com is a great place to start as you can refine your search to types of groups and location anywhere in the world. It is scary to put yourself out there. Kinda like dating. But if you don’t do it out of fear, you might miss the opportunity to befriend some wonderful people!

Advice for singletons.

Miscellaneous, Relationships

I’m back on WordPress after a busy couple of weeks. A trip to Morocco (not Monaco, as thought by my mum. It would be nice to be holidaying there with a week long stay in Hotel Paris. One can dream, right?) and a week long laundry marathon was the reason for my not wanting to blog! Oh, and there’s the little event of Amazing M settling into nursery this week – another post topic.

The title of this post was inspired by a few single friends of mine and friends of friends that are looking for love. I cannot fathom, for the life of me why they are single. They are, after all very fab and very loveable. Friends and I have often discussed why it is so hard to find someone ‘decent’ at ‘our ages’ (in our third decade of life). We often lament that all the decent ones are taken but I’m sure that’s not really the case. My friends are decent but yet to be taken. Could it be our hectic work schedules added by extremely high expectations and standards? Besides going on countless speed dating events, mixers and online dating sites, what can one do?

I’m no female Casanova so the advice I thought I would share with you comes from my self-help hero, Louise Hay. “They” say love comes when you least expect it and I suppose that was true in my case.  Never in a million years did I think I’d end up snogging some random European tourist/student in some seedy Sydney nightclub/bar which consequently resulted in marriage and having Amazing M.

DEAR LOUISE,

I need someone in my life! Any affirmations to attract love? Thank you so much! –Becca
Dear Becca,
There’s a big difference between the need for love, and being needy for love. When you’re needy for love, it means that you’re missing love and approval from the most important person you know—yourself. You may become involved in relationships that are co-dependent and ineffectual for both partners.
You can never create love in your life by talking or thinking about being lonely. Feeling lonely and needy just pushes people away. Nor can you heal a relationship in your life by talking or thinking about how awful it is. This only places attention on what’s wrong. You want to turn your thoughts away from the problem and create new thoughts that will produce a solution. Arguing for your limitations is just resistance, and resistance is simply a delay tactic. It’s another way of saying, “I’m not good enough to have what I’m asking for.”
The first relationship to improve is the one you have with yourself. When you’re happy with yourself, then all of your other relationships improve, too. A happy person is very attractive to others. If you’re looking for more love, then you need to love yourself more. This means no criticism, no complaining, no blaming, no whining, and no choosing to feel lonely. It means being very content with yourself in the present moment and choosing to think thoughts that make you feel good now.
If you want to go from loneliness thinking to fulfillment thinking, then you need to think in terms of creating a loving mental atmosphere within you and around you. Do let all those negative thoughts about love and romance just fade away; and instead, think about sharing love, approval, and acceptance with everyone you meet.
When you’re able to contribute to the fulfillment of your own needs, then you won’t be so needy and co-dependent. It has to do with how much you love yourself. When you truly love who you are, you stay centered, calm, and secure, and your relationships at home as well as at work are wonderful. You’ll find yourself reacting to various situations and people differently. Matters that once may have been desperately important won’t seem quite as crucial anymore. New people will enter your life, and perhaps some old ones will disappear—this can be kind of scary at first—but it can also be wonderful, refreshing, and exciting.
Remember, when you think joyous thoughts, you’ll be a happy person, everyone will want to be with you, and all of your current relationships will improve. Here are some favorite affirmations:
From time to time, I ask those I love, “How can I love you more?”
Love happens! I release the desperate need for love, and instead, allow it to find me in the perfect time-space sequence.
I draw love and romance into my life, and I accept it now.
Love is around every corner, and joy fills my entire world.
I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.
I am comfortable looking the mirror, saying, “I love you, I really love you.”
I now deserve love, romance, and joy—and all the good that Life has to offer me.
Love is all there is!
*** *** Louise
I think her advice is useful not only for those looking for relationships but also for those who have been in long term partnerships.

Five years together.

Relationships

I needed a good wallow after the university applications rejections. As oxymoronic as it sounds, it felt good to feel crap and really own my crappy emotions. Today is a new day and with it comes new possibilities and great changes. Of what, I have no idea, but it’s time to get pretty again. Emotionally, spiritually and physically. I will put the digestive biscuits away. As well as the jar of Nutella.

Back to the subject of today’s post. It’s our five year wedding anniversary. Five whole years. Wow.

hearts

 source

Mr B, I just want to say thanks. Thanks for finding me, loving me, making a beautiful baby with me, cooking for me, taking care of me, supporting me, making me laugh out loud, understanding and tolerating my mood swings and just for being the awesome husband/BFF/father that you are. You photoshop my life to make it so much lovelier with your presence. I love you to Pluto and back.

DM was shooshed today.

Parenting & Musings, Relationships

I am feeling a little undelicious at the moment. Amazing M got some immunisation shots that I have been putting off (MMR- don’t even get me started…) which involved screaming, tears and lots of chocolate.

Mr B shooshed me at the paediatricians while I was verbally and physically comforting M. This pissed me off to the moon and back. No one shooshes deliciousmother. Not least by her husband. And not while Amazing M is hysterical with fear, without some severe repercussions (in this case, a scowling face and dirty looks- extremely mature, I know.)

 

source

In fact, I am still pissed off. Give it a couple of hours and I’m sure we will be laughing again*. Best friends for ever. I hope.

*once an apology is made

Fifty shades of red.

Relationships

On Saturday morning Mr B and his BFF got home just half an hour before Amazing M woke up for the day. Needless to say I was not impressed and my attempts to get him to wake up and give M some milk were initially fruitless. He mumbled, “Tomorrow” when I poked him for the third time.

“It is tomorrow!” I hissed back while I cancelled an afternoon tea date with a lovely girlfriend via text. In my opinion Mr B was in no state to look after Amazing M. I couldn’t be galavanting around town with him being over the legal limit, hung over and not ‘looking after’ M properly.

After a few more pokes, he shuffled to the kitchen to prepare M’s milk. How he managed that task I do not know.

While the boys were sleeping off the alcohol, I took M to the hotel just opposite our flat for a full buffet breakfast. My pissedoffedness vanished when I saw the food on offer.  For the next hour we had a lovely time scoffing fruit, yogurt, cereals, bread, fish, and a full English for the finale.

However! As Mr B was sleeping off his gin and tonics, my annoyance increased. It was slowly but surely morphing into anger. My thoughts went something like this:

“How dare he be so inconsiderate as to come home so late and leave me to look after M, knowing full well I had made plans!!”

“How can one be so friggin’ selfish?” “Typical only child!” and so on. Not very delicious.

In true deliciousmother fashion, these thoughts came and went until Sunday evening – one minute I’d be joking around with Mr B, the next minute I would be huffing and puffing about a wasted weekend. And it was partly my fault as I was playing martyr. What I could have done was to go out to town with my friend on Saturday and spent the Sunday with the family in a good mood.

But no, I was playing martyr.

So I guess what I need to do next time, nay, ALL the time, is to honour my plans and wishes so that

a) Mr B won’t get an earful all weekend,

b) Amazing M will be shielded from a cranky and resentful mother and

c) I get what I need, which is some non mummy time with non mummy friends.

If I had looked after me first (and just left the house when I needed to), Amazing M would have had a much better weekend probably watching Cbeebies with daddy on Saturday afternoon and playing with a happy mummy and daddy on Sunday. Sorry, M. Next time mummy will not be a martyr.