I have to say that when it comes to the friendship arena, I’m a pretty lucky gal. My close and old friends are awesome. Without them I don’t think I’d be the same person. The love they show me with their unwavering support and acceptance is amazing. Thank you a million times over for being there for me.
One of the perks of becoming a mother is the opportunity of making new friends that non mothers in big old cities like London are not privy to. Would it be cynical of me to say that making new friends in your 20s, 30s and beyond is not very easy? Having a baby gives you some common ground to start up a conversation which is pretty much rare in London unless you’re drunk or outgoing. It’s a bit weird to ask the kind looking lady sitting next to you on the tube, “Hey, do you want to be friends?”.
Miss Diva Yakult and I were chatting about making (or rather, not making) new friends the other day. Before Amazing M came along, I was kinda lazy in the ‘making the effort to make new friends’ department. Let’s face it: unless you’re not very nice, you’ll have established a circle of friends you can rely on by the time you are thirty. So why should one give up their precious time and energy to look for more friends, unless you’re one of those FB friend collectors. Some of my work colleagues naturally developed into friends, I had my own set of ex-pat friends, Mr B and Skype. So why should I bother?
Having Amazing M made me bother. My single and childless friends in London went on with their exciting lives while I was stuck at home on the couch with a human milk suckeruperer. I had to find someone to talk baby stuff to without them yawning or feigning interest. So the internet and local mothers coffee group was a Godsend. It was there that I met some great women who have given me a lot of kind words, support, advice and genuine friendship. I am one of the lucky ones that found a few gems who I could speak to about fashion, celebrities, shopping and non-baby topics. Because seriously, talking about solids, weaning and baby shit can really get boring after a while. And some of these gems, I can genuinely say, have become close friends.
It didn’t come easy at first. I had to get out there and meet mothers. So desperate was I for some mummy friends that I posted meet-a-mum adverts online. Well, the effort paid off because I have a diverse group of yummy mummies who crack me up and support me, and vice versa.
Obviously not all the women you meet will float your boat. Your baby is, after all, the only common denominator. But with lots of regular group meet ups, you’re bound to find a few women with common interests, values and parenting styles. So if you’re a new or not so new mummy, or a non-mummy looking to make some friends, you’ve got to just get out there and join or start a group. Meetup.com is a great place to start as you can refine your search to types of groups and location anywhere in the world. It is scary to put yourself out there. Kinda like dating. But if you don’t do it out of fear, you might miss the opportunity to befriend some wonderful people!