Lead by example, mummy!

Parenting & Musings

Is it just me or is criticism and quality knit picking an asian thing?

Ajuma 1: She is very eligible because she comes from rich parents who own a restaurant chain.

Ajuma 2: But what does she do? Is she tall? Does she have straight legs? Is she a che-nye (i.e. virgin)? Is she pretty? Does she have good eyesight? And what is her blood type? And did her parents go to university? Can she sing ? What about cooking? How many children does she want? 

Ajuma 3: Oh, she is a che nye and she is a dentist. She is indeed tall at 170 cm tall and she is so pious. Goes to church every Sunday and looks after the Sunday school children.  Her legs are a little bowed but nothing a long skirt couldn’t hide.

Ajuma 2: Then I must set her up with my darling son! But tell me first her blood type…

DeliciousMother:  Hang on a minute, Ajumas!! What of her character? Is she kind? Is she loving?  Is she patient? Is she positive?  And will she be the type of person to nurture and inspire your future grandchildren?

(Ajumas 1,2 and 3 rendered speechless)

Growing up, being praised was rare.  This is not to say my parents weren’t good and loving.  They are awesome, they truly are.  But I suppose praise and instilling confidence wasn’t something they were much exposed to, and parented my sister and I in only the best way they knew how to at the time.  And for that I am truly grateful.  It is just that in an ideal world,  it would have been good to not hear so much criticism of others/myself and gossip so that I would not perpetuate the habit.  And boy, have I and do I!!

I am human, and at times I have to admit that I am the not so proud owner of the quality of schadenfreude.  Of course not of yours, my lovely friends.  But of celebrities, well known people who really deserve to have had this or that done to them because they are so this or that.  And I find myself criticising Mr B for not hanging the washing correctly or not washing his hands or getting me the most perfect birthday card (to be fair, he did buy a card with a teddy bear on it from a hospital only after I reminded him that a birthday card was necessary on my birthday) or any other trivial thing.  As much as I voice how lovely Mr B is to his face, I am guilty of doing the opposite on many an occasion.

And now that I am a mother, I feel I must lead by example and start saying words that really voice the love and awe I feel everyday for my precious family.  Does it really matter that the dishes weren’t organised correctly in the machine and was it really necessary to roll my eyes at a simple suggestion that didn’t appeal to me?  The simple answer is no.

This is not to say I condone unacceptable behaviour or actions of other people.  But sweating the small stuff is what I need to stop doing.

If I am to be a parent who is soul nurturing, inspiring and truly magnificent to Amazing M, I am going to need to clean up my language,  stop the criticism, gossip and negativity.  **NEWSFLASH**I have even stopped reading The Daily Mail online. OH MY WORD!

That reminds me to read the book by Andrea Gardner called “Change your words, Change your world”.   It’s not a new concept as I am a Louise Hay  fan, but it will be a nice kick up the bootay I need to really up my game.

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."
~ Siddhartha Gotoma or Buddha

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4 thoughts on “Lead by example, mummy!

  1. oh my ~ amazing M is getting so big now! Please let me know if the book is good ~ might be interested in reading it. xo

  2. You’ve stopped reading DM? Where will you get your breaking news?! Like the latest on who has been fired from TOWIE (Lauren Goodger)!

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